Saying Sorry Isn’t Enough Ninth Step
“Make a list of people we have harmed reflect upon each instance.
Meditate and pray for the humble
We are not looking for people to make amends to us.
We humble ourselves and see our part in the wrongs.
(1) There will be those amends that should be made right away when you start the ninth step.
Before making any amends, we must complete steps one through eight, becoming reasonably confident that we can maintain our sobriety.
No more toxic declarations of sorry only to repeat the behavior too soon.
2) There will be those to whom we can make only partial restitution, lest complete disclosures do them or others more harm than good.
(3) There will be other cases where we ought to defer action.
(4) Others in which by the very nature of the situation we shall never be able to make direct personal contact at all.”
7. Plan how you will communicate your amends with those persons you’ve identified.
Writing a letter, speaking by phone, talking face to face.
Create a brief practice script of exactly what you want to say then check it with your sponsor.
Explain your plan for connecting and communicating your amends.
“Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”
AA Big Book, pg 79
“Although these reparations take innumerable forms, there are some general principles which we find guiding.
Reminding ourselves that saying sorry isn’t enough, we must find a spiritual
experience sufficient to bring about real change.
In prayer, we ask for strength and direction to do the right thing, no matter what the personal consequences may be.
We may lose our position or reputation or face jail,
We have to be. We must not shrink at anything.”
If you are thinking or saying, “I can stop drinking anytime I want on my own.”
You are not considering what it takes to stay sober and stop the misery.
People can clean up here and there and stop drinking for a while on there own.
It takes a spiritual change sufficient to improve the emotional quality of your life to stay sober. Saying sorry just isn’t enough.
The 12-step experience is not a one-time event. We continue to examine our motives and actions. Learning to live in a kind and thoughtful manner.
The same man will drink again.
I must change the man I have been.
Having made “direct amends to such people wherever possible,”
The promises begin to come true in your life.
- If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are halfway through.
- We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
- We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
- We will comprehend the word serenity, and we will know peace.
- No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
- That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
- We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
- Self-seeking will slip away.
- Our whole attitude and outlook on life will change.
- Fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us.
- We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
- We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.We know this sounds like a tall order.
Help is found in AA.
In the beginning, there are treatment centers.
Medical Detox may be needed.
Separation from your daily life combined with therapy and education is certainly needed.
Saying Sorry isn’t enough.Call Wits Inn for detox and rehab help 877-724-7473