pain management chronic pain

Pain Management Chronic Pain

Pain Management Chronic Pain

Often creates an endless march to Doctors, Pharmacies, Emergency Rooms

My Doctor has become my Drug Connection. Chronic Pain and Generalized malaise morphs into a physical, psychological, and social malady. I need to return to rehab but I can’t.

Pain Management Chronic Pain
Loaded on Pain Pills
and Xanax 

I can’t  get back on track and now I’ve backed into myPain-Management-Chronic-Pain.1 garage door .. from the inside.

It was crazy, I was loaded on pills, xanax and opiates.
I went to Pain Management for Chronic Pain and generalized malaise.  I have felt kind of sickly much of my life. The pills work great at first, then they mess up my sleep patterns. I sleep too long, take naps that keep me from from producing and having a social life. I stay up late or get up too early. I like the isolation, but miss out on activities that I used to enjoy.

Pain-Management-Chronic-Pain-2 My pain is real, I’m still in pain, the drugs don’t take it away anymore. When the intoxicated uphoria first kicks in, I feel relief.  After that initial ‘rush’ I feel sluggish, unhappy, just like a worthless lump.

The family is sick of me. I want them to pity me so they don’t give me suggestions of how I could straighten up. But, I want my natural born right of respect as an adult with my own decisions.

I want respect not pity. I need both. I’m confused and so tired.

Pain Management Chronic Pain cycle hurts me physically, emotionally, and socially. So much pain in my life.

I need help. Pain can be managed by diet, exercise, and happiness. Really. I know there is a better life for me.

I hopped in my car and I guess I was in a hurry to go who knows where and just rolled back and smashed the garage door.

It popped out like a cyclops on the front of my house. It’s an automatic door and I didn’t hit the button. It was so embarrassing, my neighbors all drove past on their way home. They had to have known the cause of the deformed door. Hell, it was pushed out away from the house like a boil. It was horrible, and to prolong my pain it was a few days getting it repaired.

Pain Pills to Relapse

The neighbors had plenty of opportunities to view my bizarre accident. I bet they brought their friends to view the freak show.

In my mind I was the butt of all their jokes, the neighborhood drunk. Truth be told I have no idea what was being said about me.

I’m sure I magnified their interest but It didn’t matter.

I had relapsed, back on pain pills.  Pain Management Chronic Pain

I was living in anguish and fear over all the problems mounting from my addiction. I’m alone in this house I’m afraid of my shadow. My addiction forced me into some type of frightening psychosis. I was defenseless to stop the four horsemen and their attack of terror. Pestilence, war, famine, and death we’re running the back roads of my consciousness and I was powerless.

I had abandoned God when I took my drugs.  I was alone to fight the demons. Pain Management Chronic Pain

Pain Management Chronic Pain

Relapse Treatment

I had been sober In Alcoholics Anonymous before and It worked. I had a higher power. I had commitments,

I sponsored men and I’m a past president of the local club.

Sobriety had worked before my relapse. I got my life back. I had a wife and a house.

I had a couple cars in the garage. Not any more. I got complacent and I stopped going to meetings.

I forgot how AA gave me a life and it wasn’t long before all my successes were soiled and destroyed by my drunken pill popping shenanigans.

My relapse began when I took some pain pills for a toothache.
Then my back started aching again, It always hurts and I have to be careful. Seeking Pain Management Chronic Pain relief came next.

Opiates had always been my favorite but I thought I had this thing, sobriety. Hell … I’d been sober a while, and surely I had immunity to the drugs.

This was my self talk speaking, my craving obsessing self talk.

I took the script and I didn’t get more right away but the next time I had an opportunity I’d procure some.

From the dentist to pain pills back to relapse.

I did and before long I was looking for pills in places like the medicine cabinets in open houses local realtors were showing.

Crazy.. Right?

One of my neighbors was a friend from AA and of course I avoided this man at all costs.
The day the garage door repair man was there this AA guy rolls by and we make eye contact so he stops. 

I’m screwed, I tried to get away but he was too fast and now we’re eye to eye.
We cheated and of course he asks about the door so I admitted the truth. He told me I didn’t have to live this way and why not go back to residential treatment and get your ass back in AA.
He tells me to get a safe comfortable medical detox and get off the shit.
The nasty opiate and benzo withdrawal symptoms always caused me to keep using, I just could not take that pain.

For some reason that day was different and I heard his message. I guess God still had some grace for me. All I had to do was ask.

Pain-Management-Chronic-Pain-3 I told my friend I was powerless and asked God for help. An ounce of hope can move mountains and that day it was just enough to move me.

The next day I left for rehab searching for a better life. Relapse Treatment in the Beach Cities Area of California. If you have relapsed

Pain-Management-Chronic-Pain-4Pain Management Chronic Pain help may not be your best answer. The only real mistake is not to keep coming back.

Location: San Juan Capistrano, CA

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