An Alcoholic Needs Family Support
Family Intervention Breaking Alcoholic Denial
What to say in an Alcoholic Intervention.
It is not often easy to talk things out once alcohol intoxication
issues start to dominate a person’s thinking.
You don’t have to stand by and watch them follow this dangerous path.
We can present this option to them, get them willing, ready, then take them to treatment.
Paid by Health Insurance and Cash.
Text 949-413-4109 or call office 949-292-2000
Who is an alcoholic?
If alcohol is causing problems for you or for people who love you;
then you are a problem drinker.
Problem drinkers tend to protect their right to drink.
Confrontation or any talk about drinking creates a defensive posture.
Alcoholic Denial Common Symptoms
Blame = Pointing out other people’s unfavorable behaviors.
Victim = Resighting all of the wrongs and sufferings.
Denial = Minimising the truth of consequences.
The most important part of the intervention is the letter that you will be writing and reading OUT LOUD to your loved one.
Everyone participating in the intervention must write a letter.
Write this letter before we meet in session with the client.
Write it in the first person (Dear John).
Read out loud, during the intervention, by the person who wrote it (unless they cannot be there).
An intervention letter is composed of 7 parts.
Please write your letter using the following guidelines:
INTERVENTION LETTER GUIDELINES
1. – Identification
Introduce the power of the relationship. For example: “I had loved you unconditionally since the before you were born.”
Name your relationship. For example: “We have been friends for over 20 years”.
Remove all objections before they arise. For example: “I realize that I have contributed to your disease by drinking with you on many occasions and I am sorry.”
2. – Love
Why do you love this person? Please list all their positive attributes.
Please talk about your fondest memories and experiences with your loved one.
Talk about times you have been proud and grateful to have them in your life.
3. – Changes
What has alcoholism changed about your loved one’s personality?
What has changed about your relationship with your loved one?
4. – The Facts
List as many specific incidents that have been a direct result of your loved one
’s alcoholism. For example: “On Thanksgiving last year, you got so
drunk that we pleaded with you not to drive home. You wouldn’t
listen, and on the way home, you were pulled over and arrested for a DUI”.
Please be brief, specific, and only discuss incidents that you witnessed firsthand. Let us not talk about unknown things that will make them want to argue the facts.
Please refrain from using any judgmental language.
5. – Apology
Your loved one may be willing to die while waiting for an apology. At the base of the broken heart of Addiction is true or perceived trauma. As you have noticed the alcoholic holds a lot of blame for others. If this desire for an apology is keeping this person sick and robbing them of their will to live; now is the time to give the apology to them. We could, of course, have done better. No human interaction is perfect. In the clear light of hindsight see what YOU have said or done to harm this sick & dying person. Go to any length to save their life now. Give the gift of apology.
We are not here in intervention to present “we are right & you are wrong.” State a desire to change. We all need to learn more and change in recovery. Alcoholism is a family disease.
6. – Understanding
This is the part of your letter where you let your loved one know that you
understand that they are sick and that being alcoholic is not their fault.
Please let them know that you understand that this is not a matter of willpower or “weak character”.
However, this is also where you let them know that while it is not their fault that they have a disease, it is their fault if they choose to do nothing about…and Today is the Day!!!
7. – The Ask
Please close yours by the letter saying whatever you feel you haven’t gotten a chance to say to you loved one.
Briefly, explain the research you have done and how you believe this to be the best and most comfortable treatment center for them. Let them know that you have done your due diligence in research and would not send them to a place where you would not go yourself if you needed to.
Most importantly, please end your letter by asking your loved one to accept help. Be direct and specific. For example: “Please accept the help that we are offering and go into treatment with Loriann today.